REPUBLICAN NATIONAL DEBATE CANCELLED: CLOWNS CLAIM VICTORY

The Occupy Portland General Assembly endorsed Parasol Climate Collective’s “Clown the Debates” action. As of Friday the 15th, the debate was canceled. Below is Parasol Climate Collective’s press release.

For Immediate Release:

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL DEBATE CANCELLED: CLOWNS CLAIM VICTORY

Parasol Climate Collective, which initiated a clown picket for the scheduled March 19th Republican Debate to be held in Portland, claimed victory when the debate was cancelled on the morning of March 15th.

The first candidate to pull out of the debate was Mitt Romney, initially stating the he “didn’t feel like going.” When pressed, Romney admitted he was “too shaky in the polls to risk going to Portland to be embarrassed by a bunch of clowns.” This left the other three candidates, and led to the scrambling of local Republicans in the face of mounting opposition.

Rick Santorum pulled out next saying that he did not want to go to a “degenerate place like Portland anyway,” and that the last thing his surging campaign needed was to be confronted by “thousands of clowns, most of them probably high on medical marijuana.” He said he doesn’t understand how Parasol can be so concerned about rising carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere, elaborating “there’s nothing wrong with carbon dioxide – just ask plants.” He said that the people of Portland made him confront his own views on abortion, proposing, “The people of Portland should probably be allowed to abort, if it’d help keep their numbers down.” Ron Paul disagreed with this, saying women “never have a right to abortion,” preferring instead “targeted assassination.” Paul pulled out after first Hella 503, then Occupy Portland, endorsed Parasol’s Clown Picket, saying the momentum and level of opposition was “just too overwhelming” making his “little head spin.”

Newt Gingrich was reportedly ready to come to Portland by himself, offering to have his earlier self debate his current self. He said that the Gingrich that appeared with Nancy Pelosi in a TV spot advocating the importance of fighting climate change would debate the current Gingrich, who says it’s “all a bunch of leftist baloney.”

Parasol member Clowny McClownerstein said “The cancellation of the Republican debate, coming as it does on the heels of the recent Longshoreman’s victory in Longview, and the relocation of the G8 from Chicago to Camp David, shows the forces of oppression are clearly on the run in the face of the fierce organization of the people.”

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This entry was posted on March 19, 2012 at 10:18 am and is filed under Direct Action, Media, News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.